Stay the course. You have upset his apple cart, so now you will have to see where it goes from here. You must keep GALing and following the DB principles. It is harder than hell not to blame, but you must forgive. It is for YOU to release the bitterness. I am working on this myself. Keep us posted, and be STRONG and CONFIDENT. You can do this!!!!!
Dane..I am going to stay the course and I do know I have to forgive because I refuse to be bitter. I just don't know now what I want. If he came home today begging to make things better - I think I'd have to say I need space!
Thank you for your support.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Luvless, I know exactly how you are feeling. To me, forgiving meant trusting and trusting meant opening my heart again so it could be broken. I refuse to have another broken heart.
I know it is the hardest thing right now but starting living your life today as if H will not be in it anymore. No matter what happens, in 6 months, you will have improved yourself and you life.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
unless you plan to be like Paul (of the bible) and never get involved with someone else, then you will still have to open your heart and be vulnerable to trust again. because the divorce rate for second M's is 60% if not higher.
So, learning from the mistakes of the first M and being able to reconcile with the first, will help make the M stronger.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Once there is love there is the possibiity of a broken heart. And not just with romantic love. Children, friends, relatives can break each others' heart in so many ways. A broken heart does not mean a broken you, however...
unless you plan to be like Paul (of the bible) and never get involved with someone else, then you will still have to open your heart and be vulnerable to trust again. because the divorce rate for second M's is 60% if not higher.
So, learning from the mistakes of the first M and being able to reconcile with the first, will help make the M stronger.
- the divorce rate isn't higher because of trust issues, human nature dictates that once we learn how to do something and accomplish something, doing it again is easier.
So... once you get divorced and you haven't spent the time required to learn about you and what makes you really tick and learn how to overcome your personal problems, you will likely bring those same problems and attitudes into the next relationship and after the sex becomes old again and you both get comfortable with each other to start acting poorly to one another, when things go south, instead of hanging in there longer and trying to make it work, your attitude will be, this isn't worth it anymore, I went through this before, it was long and painful and I'm not sticking around to go through that bull$hit again and presto change o! You divorce easier during the 2nd marriage, and the divorce rates for 3rd and 4th and subsequent marriages are even higher.
When you learn how to do something, it makes it easier to do that something again.
