Thanks guys - I appreciate the support. I know what you mean in terms of not always knowing what to say, but the "I hear you" posts are heartening.
Yeah, last night things were still businesslike. She had taken the boys to a therapy session, so we talked about that a little bit.
This morning when I dropped the boys off, she sat down on the stairs and talked a little bit about stuff going on with her, asked what I had planned for the day, etc. I honestly had a feeling like "I need to go..." Kind of seems like I am feeling more seperate. I kind of expected that after a few days, though, she'd start to want to talk more. Well, it was just a couple of minutes.
Anyway, I told her I'd take the boys as often as possible on weeknights. That's what I've got in mind.
But tonight - we talk about settlement stuff after the boys go to bed. I've observed that the predominant negative feelings she has about me recently have to do about these settlement discusions. We've typically been way off of each other. So I don't have a good feeling about this - it's going to be a tough night.
I know this argument that she throws out there, talking about support for the well being of the boys, and my immediate emotional response is that she's propagated the single most destructive event in their lives. I could go on and on, I've got a lot of anger and, for lack of a better word, venom that I could certainly spit out there. Well, so does she. But you know, when we have those coversations - well, fights - surprise, none of those points seem to get across.
So staying calm is the key. Kind of feel like a no-win situation, because no matter what we talk about how we're going to do this, having gone to the mediator, etc. etc. she's got this hair trigger to call up the lawyer and ask to get a court date.
