Let me see if I have the situation understood correctly. Please let me know if I have it wrong Mike. . . trimmed to save a few trees . .
Work on yourself. Do not put pressure on her to accept you back as husband. Allow her to see your changes and be attracted to them again. Just my take. Blessings, Bill
Spot on Bill and thanks for your candor.
I remember telling myself at 15 - why would I need a girlfriend when I can get off to porn? Oh what a profound affect that would have on my life.
I am now a recovering masturbator. I have not self-pleasured myself in a 10+ days now and I am not looking back. Its disgusting to me now.
I have given that up with no quarter given by my wife so to exchange the two would not be doable.
She is going to take time for herself to find herself the same way she is imploring me to do the same thing. She told me over lunch today - I am rooting for you because I don't want to go into the dating world to have to pick up as a single mother. I want you to find who you are so we can build a stronger more meaningful relationship. The guy I know, though, is not capable of that."
I am not going to have any barganing power until I make myself attractive to her. Which means being confident, happy, doing things which I wouldn't normally do, play and work with my son every day, go for weekend trips and maybe even go out on a date a few nights.
Then, I have the ability to trade off - right now if I did it, she would say, go ahead, do it, you cannot hurt me anymore.
