I owe it to myself to give this a try. I did not go through 4 months of hell to throw it all away.
Yes you do! And FYI... it wasn't 4 months of hell... it was for months of finally discovering yourself. Get the right attitude.
huh....Gno... you have given me very important food for thought.... wow... Is it possible to turn this around and be able to see it that way eventually? I would love to get there!
RW I haven't been following your piecing thread, but I did follow your thread in Newcomers when you were there.
There is no eventually and you're already there... it's simply a matter of asking yourself the questions that will bring this mindset into the light.
For example (and my memory is hazy here)...
1) What did you discover about yourself when you confronted your H? A: Courage.
2) What have you discovered about yourself since the A? A: That forgiveness is possible.
I wish I could remember more... the whole point here is that during times of crisis we discover a lot more of what we are capable of than we ever thought possible. Once we can put the anger and resentment aside, take a step back from the situation and really look at it objectively... there are lessons that we learn about ourselves.
Another example you discover is the potential we have for change in doing the 180's. GAL, if done correctly, teaches us that we are capable of being happy without our spouse. That we are desirable and "in demand" even though your spouse doesn't think share that sentiment at that moment.
We learn to confront our fears -- and surprise ourselves when we do. I hope this makes sense to you.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
