There are several things about your message that are based on incorrect assumptions. First and most important is that you can't make your wife do anything even if you offer her everything you have. She obviously doesn't want things. This is about something else for her. You should be focusing on getting to the bottom of that.
Second is that D parents can't handle raising children with special needs without causing damage. Parents can and do every day.
Also, as the guys have already brought up, why would your W jump to these conclusions. What aren't you telling us?
