Can I save my marriage?

[Gnosis]

By this time I was soooo done. I told him earlier that day that this isn't the life I want. I don't want an H that doesn't love me. I don't want an H that comes and goes as he pleases. I don't want an H that gives absolutely no time to his family. I don't deserve any of that. I finally stuck up for myself. Let the fear go. It was so refreshing to finally do what I want. And say what I want. It felt good to be so liberated, and free. No more eggshells, I couldn't deal anymore. It was bringing me down one step at a time. So I did it. And it changed our life.

Now you finally understand what I've been trying to tell you for SOOOOO long about "confront your fears".

I'm ECSTATIC Britt.

it all of a sudden hit him. That this time he could really lose me.

Yup... that's why it's called creating the crisis.

When he left it was on "his" terms. If he wanted to come home he could. He knew I would be there with open arms. So sure, he came home and there I was.

And that's why I told you SOOOO long ago... when he wants to come back you don't let him. You make him work for it. You could have shaved off 2 months.... but it doesn't matter now.

He said this time was different, this time he felt like HE was losing ME. And it scared him to death. It made him realize that that is not what he wants.

That's what usually happens when you yank back the power of choice from their hands and take a firm hold of it in your own.

He was almost waiting for me to fail. Waiting for my changes to fall through and not be "real" changes. He wasn't doing this on purpose, but at the same time..he was.

Yes, this is important... and this is why your 180's and GAL is FOR YOU. Britt, you haven't followed any of my advice up to now and that's OK because you weren't ready for it. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE... I'M BEGGING YOU...

Don't give up your changes. Make the GAL and 180's PERMANENT. Keep confronting your fears. I hope that this has been a revelation for you. Stand up for yourself.

He realized he treated me like crap that last two months, apologized over and over. He WANTS to go to counseling together as a couple. And on his own as well.

EXCELLENT... and NOW is the opportune time to book yourselves into Retrouvaille.

The last few weeks since this happened have been amazing. He has been the man I married. He spends time with us as a family. He gives me the affection he once did and lost. It feels like our first year of marriage all over again.

That's good news.

He is virtually never on his blackberry anymore.

Because the A is over.

I owe it to myself to give this a try. I did not go through 4 months of hell to throw it all away.

Yes you do! And FYI... it wasn't 4 months of hell... it was for months of finally discovering yourself. Get the right attitude.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again Britt, I'm very happy for you. I hope that you stick around in the Newcomer's section and don't forget about the other wives that are here. They will need your help. Sharing with them about confronting their fears could make a world of difference.

smiling all the way.