When my W was having an affair she accused me of cheating as well. I didn't turn it into a poker game. I just opened up all my communications to her. I told her she can look at whatever she wants to for as long as she wants to.
I invited her to drive me to work, and to pick me up when i was done at end of day.
I made my life fully disclosed to her.
She withdrew the accusation soon afterwards.
Obviously SOMETHING i wasn't disclosign was making HER nervous.
This wasn't her fault. She's experiencing anxiety and I had to find a way to ease that a bit.. so I did.
Can you try something like this? Try to identify what's making her nervous? Is it your cell phone? Invite her to swap them.. on the SPOT.
Tell her she can carry your phone for as long as she likes. And at the end of the day she can see her phone as well. And tell her she's welcome to review any phone records she wants.... NO DEFENSIVENESS whatsoever coming from you on the matter
That's the key thing about Trust. If someone shows anxiety, often defensiveness is the response... This just aggravates the problem rather than softening it into something managable.
