Sorry to hear about your dog. They are wonderful friends to us. I know your life is a muddle now, but when you can, do get another dog. It is the only way I know of to close the hole they leave in your heart.
Gypsy--I've been a multiple-dog person for my whole adult life, which inevitably leads to having lost many furry friends over the years. It is a horrific ache, especially when it occurs in the context of a life full of difficulty already.
You've already received all of the wonderfully comforting prose I'd offer--the Rainbow Bridge (which I believe in 100%), the ship crossing the horizon...all I have to offer is my great sympathy and thanks for being there at the end and giving Tiggy the comfort of your presence in her passing. And I know Tiggy felt you there. I once had to euthanize a dog with lung cancer who sat up struggling to breathe until the very last second--and when she finally gave it up, she leaned into me. Her last awareness was feeling safe with me, feeling my warmth next to her--and that's just how it was with Tiggy. I hope that knowledge brings you as much comfort as it did for me.
A good friend of mine, a former nun, has always maintained that dogs are sacramental--they are living, breathing signs of God's unconditional love for us. Non-dog owners think that's ludicrous; the rest of us know just how wise it really is.
And I concur--when it's time, get yourself another canine companion. It's a testament to Tiggy's place in your heart that she left an emptiness that can only be filled with another dog.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
A good friend of mine, a former nun, has always maintained that dogs are sacramental--they are living, breathing signs of God's unconditional love for us.
I love that! So true.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Many times she annoyed the living daylights out of me...
Ain't that just like a family member? Sometimes annoying us? And yet if there's any degree of emotional depth to our character, we love them deeply anyway -- despite the obligatory annoyances. And sometimes because of those annoyances, the "good" and the "bad", we miss them all the more when they're gone.
I am sorry about your doggie. I have lost 3 oldies in the past few years, and currently have one who's 16 1/2 and on his last legs. Losing them is so hard, but they are such a gift while they're here. She helped you get through a lot.
I'm crying again. I hate all those stuffed emotions, but I thank you for sharing your stories. Triggers are wonderful things. The more I feel the sad, the more I feel the happy....
Gypsy, have you read "The perfect relationship"-p73 of The Mastery of Love by Ruiz? If not, Read the whole book
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Thank you again for your caring and sharing. I can't believe it's been five days since Tiggy passed away. All the kids were home and I planned on taking them all out for breakfast or lunch to just share about the joy of having had her in our lives so long, and the sorrow of her passing.
Imagine my surprise when the realtor called to set up a showing in the afternoon. Ooops... first one with potential buyers in months. The kids, my son's girlfriend and I all started methodically straightening up the house. We kept going until it was done, then I took them out to lunch.
They were starving and food was devoured almost as quickly as it arrived. I'd try to bring up something about our pooch but they'd change the subject. I didn't push. At the end we all ended up telling our favorite stories about Tiggy, one building on the other. My oldest holds in his emotions and was vehement in not caring about 'emotions of grief being expressed.' Yep yep yep.. do what works.
It's tough. Their dad went to work the day we got back from his dad's funeral. His friends and coworkers sent him home. I get nervous.. I watch my daughter hold in her sorrow at times. My middle son say it's devastating losing Tiggy but remembered a story he wrote in second grade, called "Fortunately, Unfortunately".. In one part something unfortunate happened, but fortunately we adopted Tiggy. I kept all the books and stories they made, so I'll go looking for it. My oldest holds so much in. He's a man now.. I'm glad he has a loving girlfriend he is open with.
Earlier I'd been going through the photos, making an album of images with Tiggy.. and adding pictures of the kids at whatever age they were at that time. Still working on it. When I find a really cute one of her, I just sigh and smile so happily. And seeing her face I can remember what different emotions she was going through. "Si, si.. I'll pose and wage my tail with the sombero this six year old kid put on me."
It's heartening to see the images of Tiggy dashing around the yard with a ball in her mouth, how she'd leap over the safety gate to have full range of the house. It's wonderful to see how she was always there... a part of the family.
My middle son asked me if I'd told his dad about Tiggy's death. "Yes, as soon as I'd talked to each of you, I sent him a text." My son asked me if his sister had told him.. I didn't know.. but that I had, that I would not keep anything important from his father adding that I'd let his dad know about my father's/his grandfather's death. I worry/wonder about this son feeling like he has to be the go-between, the balance between us when it comes to information. What a self imposed burden. I guess I just want to reassure my middle son that I would never keep anything important from their father.
So.. the house was shown today.. and there's one scheduled for tomorrow. Hurray! I'm in a rural suburban area where people kinda have to want to live here. So the lower price must be right and the season must be starting. Hope springs eternal.
Hey Y'all..Thank you again for your caring and sharing. I can't believe it's been five days since Tiggy passed away. All the kids were home and I planned on taking them all out for breakfast or lunch to just share about the joy of having had her in our lives so long, and the sorrow of her passing.
I feel fortunate to have "met" Tiggy once.
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
Imagine my surprise when the realtor called to set up a showing in the afternoon. Ooops... first one with potential buyers in months. The kids, my son's girlfriend and I all started methodically straightening up the house. We kept going until it was done, then I took them out to lunch. ...So.. the house was shown today.. and there's one scheduled for tomorrow. Hurray! I'm in a rural suburban area where people kinda have to want to live here. So the lower price must be right and the season must be starting. Hope springs eternal.
Good news. Our traffic in showings has picked up quite a bit. Not sure if it's Spring approaching our recent price reduction. One couple even came back today for second time. Keeping my fingers crossed for both of us! Also, on NPR this morning, I heard that new construction, new selling, and sales of existings is up significantly across the board in almost every state!
*hugs* back
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Oddly... or not so oddly... I realized I was depressed today.
Listless, ready to fall asleep at a drop of the hat, feeling alone even though I'm not.
One reason I didn't go out with friends last night was that I felt unlovable. And I was exhausted, though in the past that would not stop me. Just would get lots of energy being around others. Opted not to go to cast party either where the guy I flirted with would be. I have images of being over the hill and alone.. along with being obese. Manage sadness, keep the numbing void with food. A fear that once the kids don't need me what will I turn to? Time to face the demons and continue to get healthy.
Happy to watch the Olympics, alone in the house, but comfy last night.
When I horse around with my daughter, I'll think... "Watch out, make sure you don't hurt Tiggy." when it's around where her bed once was.
I'm happy the house is being shown. Glad that it's looking good. Goodness, when I was picking out pictures of Tiggy over the years, the house was full of clutter where ever you looked. And messy clutter, too. I remember feeling overwhelmed, that I just couldn't do handle it. Cluttered house = cluttered mind. Clutter = hopelessness for me. Thank goodness people are coming through.. keeps a focus for me.
Down post. Oh well.. it's okay to feel it, acknowledge and do something to get out of it. Cleaned the kitchen before coming online.
