BTW, pre-MC I was at the point where I thought an affair would be justified. And someday might persue one if I really was left with no alternative. I didn't want to hurt the kids but my hubby was having 2 minute, unenjoyable sex with me (that has changed now substantially), totally ignoring me and would act like I was the stupidest ugliest person on the planet.
My reason was that he is actually mean and when I try to talk to him about my hurt and feelings he would turn it on to me and get really nasty.
I didn't want to hurt my kids with a D though. Or leave them alone with him for weekends b/c I thought he was going overboard with discipline. I though if I could find my happiness elsewhere with a secret person- maybe I could stick it out in the marriage. Since I was so hurt and sad by him. Since I was too fat, too disgusting, too idiotic, etc.'
Just to give a little perspective that most people do not see on here...
I was always faithful and never ever cheated. I don't know if I actually could have ever done such a thing but I think my heart was considering it....considering the neglect I was getting at home...
BTW, he is now on anti-anxiety drugs and it helps greatly. He does not flip out like he used to.
Last edited by june72; 02/09/1002:59 PM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
