Hopeless feelings

[june72]

Yes, yes, yes! I was basically the WAS for years. My needs were not being met at all and my hubby refused MC again and again. I started talking a lot about separation and D since I felt I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive M. (you can only put up with Dumbass name calling etc for so long) He felt the same, although I have my doubts- I think he was just throwing that back at me, I will take his word on it though....

Then he suddenly panicked seeing I was starting to get real serious- asked (finally!) for MC but things were not getting better. [Very BAD MC]

He suddenly had it. And stated he was done! I totally panicked b/c I would hate to do this to my kids and I saw he had been making efforts. I think I was just too hardened by the time MC hit. So role reversal...

Had a long in house separation. 14 months. I was slowly pulling him back, DBing, GAling, etc. But he was enjoying my supplicating too much I think. We basically were back to being a married couple yet if I had a R talk it was "I still hate you" yada, yada.

I decided that I had enough- if a year of showing the new me wasn't enough that he was not worth it. I started dropping hints that I have had enough. We then had a talk about what to do if one of us died. Kids, etc. I stated I would miss him dearly, he was/is the love of my life, etc. He stated he did not feel that way at all. He would be sad for the kids that's it.

Well, I really, really had it! I mean the guy was having sex with me, enjoying a wife and mom in the house, etc.

I let him know that it was all a big mistake- marrying him, sticking it out. That I will eventually D him in the future and tell everyone the truth that [his words] "he no longer loved me", that he quit counseling and I kept going that I was reading marriage books.

I would D and have peace in my heart. No regrets. If he hated me I was going to eventually (when I had the money and youngest in school) D and never look back. I meant it will all my heart and soul.


Look who suddenly caved- ha!


We have both- put this cr@p is behind us. He or I threaten D or separation- it's done. Really, really done. I will never look into a D or separation b/c he is now actually working on himself and the marriage. He has definitely changed. I have definitely changed also, but I will not, I will not put up with CR@P! No I won't, neither will he. He knows it and I know it...


Sorry for the complete and total hijack.


I have said my piece.