Don't react, don't confront her. Your note sounds like evidence of a loving dad! Imagine what her L will say when(if!) she shows him a picture of this note. "Wow, GIMA is really a terrible father?!?"
Your W may be trying to get a reaction from you with this crap.
IF, you are really concerned about a legal position, then ask your L about it, then you'll know where you stand. Don't react to this. Let her spend her time taking pictures for useless points.
Ready2Change recommended the book "Divorce Poison" to me, and its been helpful. Knowing you, you've likely already read it, but I thought I would just mention it.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
GIMA---I have also been struggling with things like this. The unfortunate reality is there is little/nothing that you can do from a legal perspective to stop them from saying/doing things to put you into a negative light.
One thing that has worked for me is to concentrate and focus on always being a positive and stable influence on your children. Now I say that from the perspective of a dad of one 2 year old little boy. But that is what everyone tells me over and over. And that is what I have chosen to put my faith in--that over time you can just be a better parent and that will draw your kids to you.
Not worth it to sink to her level, and YES you do deserve more than this and somewhere we will all find that!
H: 30 W: 31 S: 2 T/M: 6/4 D Final 4-5-10
Bomb: June 09 Status: D'd and moving onward and upward?
I decided the best thing to do is calm down and talk to W about this some time today or tomorrow, preferably today. I'm still angry, but I'm in control.
Invoke the 48 hour rule.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
I see this as W trying to pit S against one set of God parents and emphasize a strong bond with the set who are "on W's side." God, that bothers me.
You can't control it and the fact that S told you tells me it ain't gonna work. At all. Ignore it. Don't take the bait, even if it is second-hand bait.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
And yet again, I will have to be the one to initiate the serious discussion. No sweat, since I'm the one with a backbone these days.
Maybe you're right. If you want to address it, consider framing and communicating a Boundary on it and then walk away.
Good luck.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
gima, I'd ignore the Seuss one. Choose your battles. A photo of it? For what? If for some kind of "legal" documentation, her L will probably laugh it off. And surely a judge would.
A great book though. I bought & gave it to each of my sons the day they left for college.
Think I'll buy myself my own copy on the way home from court Tuesday!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Rough night last night folks. Went to bed, and as I was praying, a wave of emotion just came pouring out. Probably more grieving the death of the M and the break up of the family. Just stood in the bathroom in the dark and let it all out. Thanks to a towel, very little noise - didn't want W to see me that way or, especially, my kids.
I'm better this morning. Still a little down, but I am trying to get my focus off of stbxw and on things more positive - like my kids and planning my future.
I know that no matter what, I will not feel lonely or be alone. I trust that God has a plan for me, and that plan does not involve me being unhappy. It just seems so far away right now.
Last night, I think a lot of my emotion came from being fatigued from this process and simply missing experiencing closeness with my stbxw - not physically, but emotionally. The lack of intimacy is something that creates an emptiness. I can counteract that to a point, but the fact remains that that part of my life, at least for now, is gone.
