Have you considered that maybe it doesn't matter what you do? Look at GIMA. If your H is in a MLC or just depressed with low hormone levels. You have a recipe for where you are at.
Understand that NOTHING YOU DO is going to change him! This is not about YOU. Your expectations are way too high. You cook for 4 hours it should be because you want to do it, if he throws the food away you have to let it roll off your back. The depression is what is controlling him. Not your cooking,GAL,looking good, losing weight etc. etc etc.
Does he exercise? Maybe the 2 of you could do it together or make it a whole family thing. That might help him with his depression. Look into foods that help with depression. If he is eating your cooking then he is stuck with what is on the plate.
Have you read the MLC resources. They might be helpful even if it is just depression. A MLC does NOT have to include wild antics or affairs. It is also a long term thing. It could last for 3-10 years.
I don't know if this is helpful but I agree that you need to look at things from a different perspective.
