Onwards and upwards!

[P17]

Newmama,

Best case scenario - I get closure. Final, complete closure. I get my life back. I don't have the feeling that I have a dead weight hanging around my neck, called W. A woman who has no respect for me or my D, who is interested in splitting up a family for her own selfish ends. A woman who sacrificed her family, her extended family and my family for her own happiness.

Worst case - I can't think of any.

In either case, the house is possibly a marital asset and she may be entitled to half of it. Then again she may not.

Cutter,

I will cost me money, but not much. I think the closure may be worth it though. For the house it kind of makes things better as it forces the issue now and not after July where W can benefit financially from it.

The biggest reason I am thinking about it - me.

I had no intention of giving W a divorce because SHE wanted it and I wanted to make HER pay for it. But I realised, where in there is this about me?

So, I thought, what do I want - truthfully, I want peace. Whether it's forgiveness, closure, distance, whatever, I just want peace in my life again. I want to be able to feel that I can move forward without the threat of a M hanging around my neck that only one of us valued.

So, with this and with my house in mind I texted W today to ask if we can sit down, have a coffee and a chat. If she had texted me I would have ignored her, but within an hour she responded with a big long text about how she is off work tomorrow, has an appointment in the afternoon but can make the morning about 11am. A bit too quick and eager (as she normally takes HOURS to respond to texts). Too much info. Not reading anything into it as I just couldn't care less, but it was just out of character.

So tomorrow, I have a meeting with her. I hope it goes like this:

Me: Why did you change your mind about not wanting the house?

Me: Just after getting contact for D sorted, you are now going to split me and D up as I will have to move away?

Me: No, me and D's mum are NOT back together and will never be back together. I thought if one person on earth would know how unlikely that is for me, it would be you.

Me: I will give you £5k as a return of the amount you paid to the mortgage for 3 years, and a little bit of interest if you leave the house for me and D.

Me: I want you to leave D alone and not send her any more cards, gifts or letters. She is upset about losing you and each time you contact her it reminds her of that loss.

I won't mention anything to her about going to her trustees about any money she may get from the house. I'll leave that bombshell for another day should I need it. I also won't mention anything about me seeing somebody else or the fact that I am moving anyway. Don't want to show all my cards at once

Packed about a dozen boxes last night of books, DVD's and my office (my goodness I have a huge amount of cr&p :)). So I've started. Off to see my IC just now.

Advice, suggestions, 2x4's, gifts, money, cake, or just a hug