I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet puppy. Our pets are part of our family and their loss is no less than a person.
You did a beautiful thing staying with her and being a comfort to her in her final hours. You have to know she felt your love and it eased her passage.
My heart goes out to you Kathleen.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
((((GYPS)))), my heartfelt condoleances. You are a good person and a strong woman. As a dog lover myself (dogless at the moment) I really feel for you. In a strange way, their short life span is one of the reasons I have not adopted another one. Weird, I know ....
Thank you so much for being here. And G'Man for sending the cavalry.
Part of 'surviving' the divorce is learning to thrive in life, getting past that veil of denial as shimmering as dew with the tensile strength of the oh so delicate silk thread. A partner leaves because there's been sh!t stewing for quite a while. In a marriage, divorce no one is innocent.. or rather everyone carries part of the responsibility. And many times it comes down to not facing a fear, preferring to look the other way.. in effect being human.
In the past two and half years I have had a serious head injury, a husband zip out being a really weird liar, a movie of the week storyline with the much younger mistress/girlfriend/eventual wife, my personal child molesting who I was able to truly forgive father die, an idiotically expensive divorce lead by my former spouse of 26 years leaving us in financial ruin, put the family home up for sale its proceeds representing my financial future in a market where no one will even look at it, the kids' father going from being there, to being there every week or so for an hour to a meal at the diner on holidays dad. Oh well.. long way of saying that things happen in life.
When he left, there was a void, a loss of energy in the house. When my dad died, there was immense sorrow along with joy of forgiveness which allowed me to actually have a dad.
But now.. with Tiggy's passing.. I'm feeling alone. When I'd have trouble sleeping and go settle in the den to sleep on the couch, she was always there... another set of lungs breathing with a lil tail thump thrown in.
Pets are innocent, without blame.. and Tiggy was always there. Close, caring, demanding, pain in the ass at times (second favorite nickname "Stupid Dog" when she'd foil my garbage defenses and spread her spoils all the way to her dog bed twenty five feet away).
I don't see dogs as having a short life.. but as a very long life. Tiggy was there from Anna's toddling days to almost Sweet Sixteen party, was loved and ignored by kids who counted on Tiggy always being there. "I love my dog, just don't expect me to walk her." Or Tiggy 'going to college' when my oldest had her stay with him rather than at a kennel when I was away.
A huge loss that rips open the wound of unresolved emotional agony.
Ahh.. so many words.
In adopting our rescue dog, Tiggy, I knew she'd be with us up to seventeen years, that it was a long term commitment, that having her as part of the family was not something that would end because of inconvenience, frustration. In effect until her death do us part. Many times she annoyed the living daylights out of me with her ability to ninja poop on the most expensive rugs, ravage the trash and then hold my foot hostage with her body while emanating the stinkiest farts as the spoils spoiled her digestion.
Anyway.. a pet dog lives a lifetime. I knew Tiggy would die right when she did.. taking the kids from being children to growing up, being such an important constant in the unexpected turns of life. Going from being a pet to a member of the family, a constant who always loved you for you. Nothing more or less.
I guess it's like I was able to be whatever I felt like, the emotions in the now and know that there'd never be grudges, just licks, tail wags and hugs.
Great prose as usual gyps. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend last night about dogs. We just watched that Richard Gere movie about the Akita (Hoshiko....I think). She is very attached to animals much like my daughter is. The unconditional love that they exhibit etc. Maybe they exhibit that love because they do not have as many distarctions as we do....maybe that is the secret to staying in love....avoiding distractions. Now I am rambling. Well, i know that the pounds are full of good dogs looking for a good home, there are also plenty of good people out there looking for good relationships. They may even hold their farts for a while. I am lucky to have found one such person and you will as well. In the meantime...it is nice to reminisce on the past...on memories....but also keeping in mind that there is a future for us all. Perhaps a better future. In spite of the lacklustre economy and housing market, there is a future and we have the power and ability to shape ours. Get out there Gyps, you have so much to offer!
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I was completely out of computer contact yesterday, but wanted to pass my thoughts and condolences to you and your family today.
I would just like to pass along a personal story to you.
My grandmother, whom was like a second mother to me, passed from cancer some time ago, and I was a ways away. However, I got the call that she was about to pass, and I hopped on a flight immediately, and made it to her bedside. I firmly believe that she waited for us all to be there. I was able to hold her hand, and could tell as she looked at each of us, and then she finally let go and was gone..
The reason I tell you this, I know now that it was a blessing to be in her presence when she passed. You will look back to being able to be there with Tiggy, and your family, at the time of passing at some point in your future, and know too that you were blessed to be there during that time.
To stroke her hair, and hold her, and offer your love as she left this world for whatever and wherever is next. That little dog knows she was loved, and is now content, and will be with you in your hearts until you meet again.
((((Gypsy))))
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I know I've never posted to you before, but this post caught my eye, and thought I would share. Several years ago, before all of my M drama, our family dog of 18 years became ill. My H suggested we go to the vet, that she was suffering, and it was time. We all took her over, but on the way over she became very animated and energetic----I think knowing what we were doing and letting me know she wasn't ready. Instead I talked the vet into trying a new medication, to see if it could help with the fluid building in her lungs. Within a week it was obvious that things were deteriorating even more. She was suffering, and having much trouble breathing. I made the choice to take her over on my own. She was our family dog, but since I stayed at home, she was "my dog." On the way over she looked at me, and I knew she knew it was time. I held her and kissed her as the vet put in the IV. I held her and stroked her as she took her last breath. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do at that time in my life----but I couldn't watch her suffer any more. She was my first "child," and she was gone. The days, weeks and months that follow are not easy ones. You will hear her. You will look for her, and expect her to be there as they always were. You will even think to check the water or food bowl weeks after she's gone. They touch our lives in ways no human can, because they truly do give us that unconditional love that we all need. I truly feel for you during this time, because I know the huge hole this can leave in your heart. As you heal from your loss you will have the memories, and they will help. Tiggy was lucky that she had you----and you were lucky to have her.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
