Don't be so hard on yourself. This was my "normal" too. Learn from your experience, make a new plan and do your best to carry it out. Fakin it til ya make it.
You will, in your own time, see that you cannot fix or control him. The best you can do is fix or control yourself. No progress can be made in your M as long as he is involved elsewhere. "Stop what isn't working and do something different."
We have all felt foolish at some point. In the tarot, the fool walks blindly down the path of life to his fate without heeding any of the warning signs along the way. Reread your thread again. Lots of great advice. Did you get "not just friends"? Did you watch the video?
Allen BTW... Loved the video!! Very encouraging! Penny's stuff is very good too. She has an ebook too that I found helpful. It was only 16 bucks or so.
mb, all of the advice (even newmama's AoS) basically says to remove yourself from the triangle (thus the chaos), and become the pursued. Each advisor has ideas on how to do that. Read them all and start trying some. You can do it!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
