OTMT, Curious, has there ever been an argument b/t you 2 and later you realized that you had been wrong or have you always been right?
Just curious....
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
You think she is unintelligent and you are superior in intellect, is that it?
A lot of the intellegence gap might be just from language differences (she's ESL), but there is a gap. Superior, no, but a noticible gap.
I KNOW I should just love her. Is that realistic, though? How do you love what you do not love? If I make a joke, she usually doesn't get it. Others I know have no problem. If I explain a situation/problem, others get it. She often doesn't. Worst off, I think, is that she doesn't love learning, so she isn't building her knowledge/skill, except by experience.
It's like loving a child- you just do it. Even if your child is less than perfect or has flaws- that does not deter your love. Same goes with family members- brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers.
Love overlooks flaws
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Again , curious.... Do you think that you have any flaws?
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
YOu don't respect her b/c you are behaving arrogantly.
How? Does everyone like liver? Just because it is good, doesn't make it agreeable.
If I wanted to be arrogant, wouldn't I be saying that she's too stupid for someone like me? I have ADHD, I'm not a perfect prize, although I do like myself. That's self-esteem, not pride.
I want to respect her, I want to feel proud to be married to her. I want to love her for who she is. But, I don't - at least not yet. This isn't a switch called respect I can just pull. Respect comes from the soul, not the mind.
I think that would help me find things to love in her and make connecting, listeing, and helping that much easier. I can love her in a Godly way, but that doesn't mean I love her in a spousal way. If she was a close religious match, I could definately find much more in her to respect, but she isn't.
Again, spending quality time together!!! I don't know- go to a restuarant by yourselves, go tot fair, go to a play. Spending time with anther person is the way to bond with them...
If you do not do this then it will make it much harder to improve the relationship.
Quality time together away from the kids, got it.... Fill your life with positive memories of her and b4 you know it you will want to spend time with her
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
I think positive quality time together - greater respect and bonding, IMO
How do friendships grow through time together. Become her best friend.
Last edited by june72; 02/09/1005:30 AM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
My boss when I was a teenager said I was a Jack of All Trades. I later found out the rest of that phrase is also, "master of none". Still, they hired me to manage the place when I finished high school, so I know my flaws can add up to benefits.
My W should have flaws, too - she is human. No dancer is perfect, but that doesn't mean toes have to be stepped on during most dances. I need a way to see more in her so I can get past the toe stepping.
Got to sleep-super tired. This is almost like instant messenger here.... Will look up your sitch tomorrow
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
