Kalni, reading back... do I have this right? You still do not have his passwords?
What about setting up his email on your computer at home and calling him over and stating- "I want to log in your email right now- what is the password?"
In the words of Dr. Phil... People with nothing to hide, hide nothing (darn it- I think I am screwing up the saying- I can't remember the exact wording)
If he balks- I think you know your answer- he has something to hide... otherwise he would give it to your readily.
Personally, his coming and going at at all hours of the night is unacceptable to me also... where is the trust? Who knows what the heck he is doing
Yes, he seems definitely depressed- at this point- not your problem... Ever hear how sometimes a drowning person will take you right down with them if you are trying to save them? It's automatic, don't let him pull you down.
I personally, think he just strings you along with just enough to keep you going. Every time you finally have had it- another crumb is thrown your way ie.the letter. Then you think maybe this time is the time change is really going to occur. Very reactionary. He just reacts to situations.
I guess you could write up a list of all the needs he is meeting and not meeting. If the list is coming up short- do you think he will meet them in the near future? six months from now? a year from now?
His sadness- it's not all about him... what about your sadness? Why does his sadness trump yours? It's all about him- his moods, his happiness, his wants and needs (he does what he wants regardless of you)
I don't know.....will he ever really be a husband again? How can you be sure he is still not in contact with the OW when he was "reconciling" last year. groundhog's day (the movie) seems a little bit.
Has he done anything beyond the minimum? Anything without being cattle prodded?
What is your timeline? When is enough, enough?
You deserve some much more...
Of course, as always- just my thoughts. I wonder a single, private session with the MC would bring up? What does she think about all of this? What would she way to you?
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
