More journaling. I had told my BIL that we were going to see a mediator and that W wants to move out, etc. etc. He has been through a divorce so sometimes we talk. We actually were originally talking about something else but then he asked me how things were going with W. My ILs always ask me.
Needless to say, my W HATES when I talk to her family about what is going on and I try to avoid the subject unless I am point-blank asked for the most part.
Well, BIL told MIL about the mediator and I think SIL must have heard as well. They in turn mentioned it to her grandmother, the matriarch of the family. Grandmother has been calling me all week but I been avoiding her because I don't want to answer her questions, but I finally took her call yesterday.
She knew about the mediation appointment already, and point blank asked me questions about the situation and I didn't feel like lying to protect W.
Should I? I have in the past (she had asked if W sleeps in same bed as me anymore and I had lied and told her yes). She also said that she thinks W has someone else on the side, which I know to be true as well (no proof lately but I am not stupid), but didn't offer my opinion to her.
She is the type of person who will let her opinions be known and will let my W have it, but this always ends up backfiring on me so I avoid telling her things (so does my MIL).
W says talk to your OWN family about things, not hers, which is fair enough, but when they point-blank ask I almost feel like I have no choice unless I say "I don't want to talk about it".
It is weird because this is her implementation and is reality, so why lie about what's going on when they ask? Maybe it is none of their business, but she has told all of them that she isn't happy, hasn't been happy for 10 years, etc etc so these details about what is going on NOW shouldn't be a big secret I figure. It is not like they are being told lies or anything.
She gets mad because she says that I don't tell the whole story. What is the whole story? She doesn't sleep with me since I caught her talking to OM and told her to move out so that was her compromise. Does she really want them to know ALL that? I don't think so, but she is worried about defending her image to them I guess but there isn't much defense for what she is doing in their eyes and she knows it.
Lesson here is no matter what bad things happen to a WAW they will always find a way to blame you if you can be tied to it. In my case it is my 'big mouth', but again, my alternative is to say "I don't want to talk about it" I guess. Should I do her that favor?
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
