I also called the OW, but I never got to really say anything. just told her that we needed to talk, but she was at work. next thing I know H is threatening me over the phone.
His comment "whatever you did you've now crossed the line..I hope you're satisfied w/the results" that's about what my H said too. and they do that because they are on the defense because we stepped in to make things more difficult and so they go on the attack. It's a natural response, IMHO, and just let him be crazy. but YOU remain calm. do not react to him whatsoever.
I would be dark right now. just do your own thing and be absent from him as much as possible for the moment. Things are going to get really crazy. and actually, for him to talk to the kids is a better thing than I normally hear, unless he's just bashing you to them. most of the WAS including my own, won't face up to their kids and just act like nothings wrong. I would definitely talk to the kids as well, and do NOT bash on him, but just tell them that you were trying to solve the problems in the M, but H is making the choice to step away instead. He is still your father and loves you, but he is in a bad position right now and we need to pray for him. He is very lost and he is hurting a lot of people including himself.
also, be very very careful what you say, as I would suggest not to say anything to H for a while until things settle down. if he leaves, then let him leave. If he doesn't leave, I would still say that you want him to know you do not approve of the R that he has with this woman, and out of respect for you and the children, he will need to keep any and all contact out of this house, and if he cannot, then he needs to find another place to stay.
Regardless of whether you want to fight for your M or not, your goal is still the same, so make that decision later. But, you do need to make a decision if you want him to continue living in your home or not. In my sitch, I allowed my H to stay if he wanted. That was my decision, because I wanted to be the biggest influence in his life and I was GALing well and I was VERY consistently DBing. but what are you comfortable doing? What are you able to handle in this sitch?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
