feel like giving up - talk to me!

[robx]

I don't know what I want to do you guys...really. I need time to think. I'm sure H will end up making the decision for both of us. He is on the way out anyway.

I have some ideas

Today I sent an e to OW telling her that her relationship with my H is unacceptable and if it didn't stop I would notify her H and her boss. SEVEN minutes later my H text me "whatever you did you've now crossed the line..I hope you're satisfied w/the results I'm being called into HR..I am going to lose it."

He continues to say "You really haven't learned..I hope u realize what u have now done." I text back "I'm protecting my family." He says, "No u r not I'm done!" more texts "You pushed me over edge" "You have no idea as usual."

My response would be:
"... I agree with you H, I didn't learn from the last time you did this but I do have an idea this time. I didn't learn from the last time that you were going to do this to me again, I let you back because I was afraid to lose you and now I'm not afraid anymore. I've had enough, I want you to leave. I will be here for the kids, I'm going to be solid & strong for them and explain to them that you have made your decision to hurt this family and now you have to live with that decision. I won't take you back again, you need to get your things and move out."

So...he says he is done...we'll see what the clown has in his bag of tricks for me today when he gets home. He will try to pull me into arguing but I won't fall for it OR he will pack his stuff and leave to prove a point.

Go ahead - punish me - nothing phases me anymore.

NO! You don't deserve punishment.
Turn this around. You didn't cheat on him, he cheated on you and I don't care what condition your marriage is in, there is never an excuse to cheat. If he could put on his big boy underwear and text another woman and communicate to her and turn her on, he could have done the same with you if he valued you and the relationship he had with you. Stop believing you deserve punishment, you are not a victim, you're a strong adult woman who knows her value and knows that you won't be disrespected anymore by someone who doesn't appreciate what he has at home. This is his loss, not yours and you need to start looking at it this way, the sooner you do, the sooner he'll be crawling back home begging for you to take him back and at the point you will have the luxury of choosing if you want him back or not.

Abuse is NOT to be tolerated in any form.

Would you tolerate this treatment if this was happening to your children if they were married and their spouses were treating them horribly and cheating on them? NO, you wouldn't. You would speak up, you would tell them to stand up for themselves, you would show them strength and courage and you would inspire them to action.

We are here doing this for you.

Don't tolerate his crap behavior anymore!