Ok, maybe I do sound needy. yes right now I am. yes I do need to stop this roller coaster ride that I am going through the past couple days. The above is my dilemma. Where to draw the line and stand firm. Money doesn't mean a damn thing to me. Money is easy and can be made by working. Ive dug ditches, Ive slung hamburgers. I'm not afraid of work. What I am afraid of is being alone. I am also afraid of that woman being in another city, alone and desperate thinking she now has no one to turn to as her husband has cut her off completely. Yes I need to learn to love myself and to take care of myself I can see that. But to not be able to show compassion to another human being who has been with you through some hard times and good times. What kind of world would I have going through life being that type of person? She is already gone. I know this. But I cannot see abandoning her like a dog on the corner.
I'm not trying to pick fights, please don't take me wrong. I am just hearing so many things right now on what to do and my heart/little boy inside is telling me something else.Just trying to cut through the fog.
I feel the same way Wired...and I'm scared that no matter what I do it will be the wrog thing. And so far, everything I've done has been the wrong thing.
You think "if I treat her like this...why would she ever want to come back?"
But then if she is indeed looking for someone who will stand up to her, you think "maybe it will work".
You go back and forth between these two ideas...but what's common among both of them is that you consider either decision while thinking about how she will react...and the only outcome you want from either decision, no matter which one you make...is that you want your W back...you want your family back.
I dont envy you...as I'm in a similar predicament...and for me each new days beings the same insecurity and confusion. So I hope you will be able to be one up on me and shake off the confusion.
