how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

thanks, guys...i understand the concern about the "mind reading." it helps me try to gauge where we are, and i know that despite what he says, he may be feeling something entirely different. i don't think i'm trying to use it to win him back, i'm keeping the focus on myself, but like i said, it does help me know where we stand. if he's telling me he misses me, he doesn't know what to do, he is feeling scared and lost and that he loves me, of course i'm trying to figure out what is on his mind for real, but it also tells me that he's not entirely ready to serve me up with D papers which helps me in my responses to him.

i know that i'm making changes and they are starting to stick...normally if i'd heard him crying on the phone i would cry too and say whatever i needed to say to make him feel better. but this time i held my ground, told him i was sorry he felt that way, and suggested that maybe he did need to find a professional to talk to.

OTM, i did tell him "i love you, too" in response, and he seemed relieved to hear it. even ended by saying "i'll see you soon...maybe we can talk again later this week." that is the kind of thing i think DR would call a "baby step."