Not sure if this qualifies as piecing or not...

[TrentC]

I might as well get it all out now. Things are quiet at work.

I have not been entirely truthful about the details of my situation. There are several people that I have told the whole story to, but I owe it to everybody who has supported me -- especially those who have come to rely on me for advice -- to tell the truth, and I hope you can forgive me.

The night that my wife told me about her medical condition, I had been planning to have a very different conversation with her.

I found out that my wife had created a secret email account and was keeping in touch with the OM from the EA. I found an online reservation that showed she was going to go see him in Colorado over this past weekend, and several conversations that, to me, looked like she was head over heels in love with him and that our splitting up was just a matter of time. And once they were together, they could have that happy little family she always wanted.

When I confronted her about the plane ticket, she hit me with the medical news; the rest of the conversation happened pretty much as I described. When I asked her what her plans were with the ticket, she said she didn't know any more. She might go home to see family and process what was going on, or she'd cancel the reservation and use the ticket later.

By Tuesday, she still had not told me what she planned to do, so I asked her what her plans were. She told me that she was not going to see him, but that she was going to get away for the weekend. She needed time and space to figure out what she wanted to do. When I asked her where she was going, she did not tell me. Eventually, I got her to tell me that she was visiting a relative in Arizona, but she still wouldn't tell me who.

I had a long weekend in order to try to process what was happening to us. I took several days off from work, bought some more reading material, and tried to GAL. She emailed me a couple of times to let me know that she got there safely, and that she was having a quiet weekend. I was doing pretty well with the PMA and the detaching, and wondered what was going to happen when she got back tonight.

At lunch today, the fertility clinic called me. They had been trying to get hold of my wife all weekend; the had a cancellation and wanted to know if she wanted to come in this week for surgery.

I asked "what surgery?" because the only surgery I knew of was an impending hysterectomy due to andometriosis.

She lied.

She does not have andometriosis or adenomyosis; she does, in fact, have a simple fibroid tumor. The procedure is relatively simple and she'd be in the hospital for a few days, but then she would be fine, and likely to be able to have children.

After this, I went snooping. I found a couple of charges on her personal bank account (she forgets that I'm on that account) that showed that she was exactly where she said she wasn't going -- to be with him.

So, to sum up: my wife lied to me about the severity of her EA. She lied to me about not going to see him this weekend, and she lied to me about never being able to have children.

Needless to say, I am in shock. I don't know what to do now. I cannot recognize the woman that I am married to anymore. I refused to admit that my wife could be so twisted and so deceitful, only to have it blow up in my face.