Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

CLV,
I don't how I will feel when that day is appoaching, it may come when we hammer out a separation agreement which is the divorce in a nutshell, someone still has to file though. Right now, it is better for me to be her friend, that could change. Just 30 minutes ago I wanted to pick up the phone and call her and tell her how bad she is messing up the kids. D13 is curled up on the couch, stomach in knots, says its not sitch that she is sick, I know better and it pisses me off so bad. The friend in me keeps me from picking up the phone and going off, which would not get me what I want. If I wasn't so friendly right now, or if we were divorced already, I just don't know????

I appreciate the "raw" feelings, all I have to do is look at my daughter right now and yes I would probably be right there with you. I'll jump downstairs to "separated" for a beer in a little while.

TF,

Hard work makes something that more valuable.

Somewhere, on these boards someone reminded me that which we all already know or at least have heard......"The very best things in life do not come easy".

I too, am scared about being able to fall back in love with my wife some day, but I know that is a ways off but the falling out of love is now. Maybe you really do have to not be "in love" someone in order to love yourself enough to make the "real" lasting improvements in yourself. Do we "love" ourselves enough to stop loving our spouses?

I have read some success stories where the LBS is somewhat thankful for the crisis they went through to get where they are today with their spouse. I am now looking back at my marriage and starting to see and remember the things that I was not so happy about and thinking that I don't want to go back to that even though it was better than where I am now. It is difficult if not impossible to imagine a better life without my spouse in it but if we handle this right and do for ourselves we do end up better with or without them.

It is so easy to say that, I wish there was some part of doing it that was remotely easy.