She got ready for bed and came in kitchen where I was and said she was tired and going to bed, went to give me a kiss and I said no.
You'll learn more as you go along here. To me, a better way of handling that would have been to just look at her and either turn around to do something else, or even say, "I'll pass". I think she needs to get the message that she is not conducting herself in an attractive manner and therefore you do not have any desire to kiss her. If she knows that you are not attracted to her, that will (or should) make an impression on her. I'm sure she didn't flinch at your rejections b/c she'll have you melting again when you are wanting to have sex. Will you be able to stand up to her then?
Staying balanced is important. Not backing down is important too (if you know you are right). So, as MWD says in her DR book, know what you really want. Don't refuse to kiss her and tell her "no" today and then give in for sex by night time. See what I mean? So, know what your goals are and have a plan as to how to reach those goals.
You can't learn everything in a couple of days, so be careful and don't jump off into something you don't understand and have enough information about.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
