rocked... if it did work for you, that is awesome! and I really don't know the stats on either way, and if there are any stats somewhere, but just seeing what have seen, depending how bad it is, it's usually much harder than just setting a boundary.
I also agree, that if she wants to continue fighting, and I hope you do Luv, that it will be hard. But you know what? getting D is going to be just as hard. So either way you have to go down a sucky road, left or right, but if you take the tools with you that you are learning here and what God is trying to teach you, you'll get thru it so much better and have a great chance of having a wonderful marriage in the end.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I don't know what I want to do you guys...really. I need time to think. I'm sure H will end up making the decision for both of us. He is on the way out anyway.
Today I sent an e to OW telling her that her relationship with my H is unacceptable and if it didn't stop I would notify her H and her boss. SEVEN minutes later my H text me "whatever you did you've now crossed the line..I hope you're satisfied w/the results I'm being called into HR..I am going to lose it."
He continues to say "You really haven't learned..I hope u realize what u have now done." I text back "I'm protecting my family." He says, "No u r not I'm done!" more texts "You pushed me over edge" "You have no idea as usual."
Remember back in 1998 I caught him "talking" to another woman at his office. She left him a voicemail telling him she misses him and hoped his wife didn't get the message. I wrote her to act like a lady and stay out of my marriage and keep her relationship with H strictly business. I then wrote her boss. She was fired. Later on about 2 months later H was laid off with severance. He believes to this day it was my fault he lost his job and blames me!
So...he says he is done...we'll see what the clown has in his bag of tricks for me today when he gets home. He will try to pull me into arguing but I won't fall for it OR he will pack his stuff and leave to prove a point.
Go ahead - punish me - nothing phases me anymore.
Last edited by luvless; 02/08/1010:56 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Remember back in 1998 I caught him "talking" to another woman at his office. She left him a voicemail telling him she misses him and hoped his wife didn't get the message. I wrote her to act like a lady and stay out of my marriage and keep her relationship with H strictly business. I then wrote her boss. She was fired. Later on about 2 months later H was laid off with severance. He believes to this day it was my fault he lost his job and blames me!
If that was true that he blames you... then he would have learned his lesson wouldn't he? He knew what you were capable of and yet still persisted to pursue another OW. That means he didn't get laid off because of that incident. Don't let him gaslight you anymore.
He is having a talk with the kids tonight. I am sure it is about leaving. Too bad I'm last in line to know. He disgusts me. I'm sick to my stomach right now.
Ok my DB friends prayer up for me! I need strength!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
minutes later my H text me "whatever you did you've now crossed the line..I hope you're satisfied w/the results I'm being called into HR..I am going to lose it."
does no one but me see how pathetic that statement is...that luv crossed the line when he;s the one with an OW?
I don't know what I want to do you guys...really. I need time to think. I'm sure H will end up making the decision for both of us. He is on the way out anyway.
I have some ideas
Originally Posted By: luvless
Today I sent an e to OW telling her that her relationship with my H is unacceptable and if it didn't stop I would notify her H and her boss. SEVEN minutes later my H text me "whatever you did you've now crossed the line..I hope you're satisfied w/the results I'm being called into HR..I am going to lose it."
He continues to say "You really haven't learned..I hope u realize what u have now done." I text back "I'm protecting my family." He says, "No u r not I'm done!" more texts "You pushed me over edge" "You have no idea as usual."
My response would be: "... I agree with you H, I didn't learn from the last time you did this but I do have an idea this time. I didn't learn from the last time that you were going to do this to me again, I let you back because I was afraid to lose you and now I'm not afraid anymore. I've had enough, I want you to leave. I will be here for the kids, I'm going to be solid & strong for them and explain to them that you have made your decision to hurt this family and now you have to live with that decision. I won't take you back again, you need to get your things and move out."
Originally Posted By: luvless
So...he says he is done...we'll see what the clown has in his bag of tricks for me today when he gets home. He will try to pull me into arguing but I won't fall for it OR he will pack his stuff and leave to prove a point.
Go ahead - punish me - nothing phases me anymore.
NO! You don't deserve punishment. Turn this around. You didn't cheat on him, he cheated on you and I don't care what condition your marriage is in, there is never an excuse to cheat. If he could put on his big boy underwear and text another woman and communicate to her and turn her on, he could have done the same with you if he valued you and the relationship he had with you. Stop believing you deserve punishment, you are not a victim, you're a strong adult woman who knows her value and knows that you won't be disrespected anymore by someone who doesn't appreciate what he has at home. This is his loss, not yours and you need to start looking at it this way, the sooner you do, the sooner he'll be crawling back home begging for you to take him back and at the point you will have the luxury of choosing if you want him back or not.
Abuse is NOT to be tolerated in any form.
Would you tolerate this treatment if this was happening to your children if they were married and their spouses were treating them horribly and cheating on them? NO, you wouldn't. You would speak up, you would tell them to stand up for themselves, you would show them strength and courage and you would inspire them to action.
