It sounds to me like you are in a great place right now, and things are looking as best they can at this time. Keep it up!
Quote:
The 50's are supposed to be the best decade in a man's life! You got 4 more years left - take advantage of em.
Jeez, I hope so, I struggled with this myself in my sitch for a while with self imposed "My god, I am going to be single in my 40's?" and "Where am I going to find someone as attractive as my stbxw again!"
not good places to be in, and when you find yourself thinking like that, your sticking around and holding on to something for the wrong reasons.
Takes work to get out of that mindset, but totally limiting beliefs that need to be shed!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Hey G-man, It sounds to me like you are in a great place right now, and things are looking as best they can at this time. Keep it up
Quote:
The 50's are supposed to be the best decade in a man's life! You got 4 more years left - take advantage of em.
Jeez, I hope so, I struggled with this myself in my sitch for a while with self imposed "My god, I am going to be single in my 40's?" and "Where am I going to find someone as attractive as my stbxw again!" not good places to be in, and when you find yourself thinking like that, your sticking around and holding on to something for the wrong reasons. Takes work to get out of that mindset, but totally limiting beliefs that need to be shed!
There is one - and only one - approach in my book: Live your life. Your life. And see who shows up.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Okay, I posted this "poll" over at Newcomers. Thought I'd put it here, too.
Serious question. I'm not being frivolous or cute.
You may recall that at one time Dia (seconded by Coach) double-dog-dared me to lighten up a Mediator meeting by showing up with Groucho Marx mustache glasses or those glasses with "the googly eyes on springs!"
I never did (Damn!).
Back to question: years ago, Mrs.G and I talked on the phone for weeks before finally meeting. We made a date to meet the first time. She said,"How will I recognize you?" I jokingly said, "I'll be the one wearing a red carnation." And I was. I did. First time I laid eyes on her.
I was thinking of wearing one to court tomorrow. Not to be cute, not to be romantic, not to be sentimental, nor ironic, nor sarcastic or even wise-ass.
Just to "complete the circle," so to speak.
And to perhaps lighten an occasion that could use some lightening up.
So, I'm curious: whaddaya think? Cast your votes.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I vote no. I would not give her the impression that you are in any way weak, or pining after her at all. IF there is ANY chance at you guys being something more than she should be the one to wear the carnation.
Just my .02
H: 30 W: 31 S: 2 T/M: 6/4 D Final 4-5-10
Bomb: June 09 Status: D'd and moving onward and upward?
Gman, I'm more or less on the same line as Buffet here.
That smacks of "sentimental old fool" and that's the last thing in the world you are. I don't want you to give her the satisfaction of laughing behind your back.
I'd go with the eye-popping glasses and mustache... because it's fun.
The ONLY person that it would mean anything to would be you. It wouldn't mean crap to her. It wouldn't 'lighten' anything. As far as 'completing the circle' goes, you gotta do that in your mind. You don't need a symbol to help you do it. Let your strength, power, security, confidence, wisdom, and compassion (for YOU) help you do it.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
