I just realized that I will be home over Valentines day. Great, a no win situation. If I get something, then I will be pushing; if I don't, then I will be insensitive and pulling away.
Do they make an "I would love to love you if you were not being so STUPID" card?
I was thinking about not wearing my ring when I get off the plane. Overkill or not?
All this Valentine's Day questioning! The way I see it, a card is $3.00; candy is $5-10.00; and flowers at the grocery are less than $20.00. If your wife is not happy with the marriage, they may not buy you much goodwill, but failing to give her something will buy you a boatload of bad feelings. My advice is to spring for something. It's well worth the cost.
The way I see it, a card is $3.00; candy is $5-10.00; and flowers at the grocery are less than $20.00. If your wife is not happy with the marriage, they may not buy you much goodwill, but failing to give her something will buy you a boatload of bad feelings. My advice is to spring for something. It's well worth the cost.
You don't have to be all lovey-dovey if you're really not feeling it; There are plenty of tame Valentine's Day cards you can get. Get one of those and add it to the kids' V-day present.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I just realized that I will be home over Valentines day. Great, a no win situation. If I get something, then I will be pushing; if I don't, then I will be insensitive and pulling away.
Do they make an "I would love to love you if you were not being so STUPID" card?
I was thinking about not wearing my ring when I get off the plane. Overkill or not?
All this Valentine's Day questioning! The way I see it, a card is $3.00; candy is $5-10.00; and flowers at the grocery are less than $20.00. If your wife is not happy with the marriage, they may not buy you much goodwill, but failing to give her something will buy you a boatload of bad feelings. My advice is to spring for something. It's well worth the cost.
I completely disagree with this. This is crumbs not some holy grail that will turn around your marriage. Its a holiday. Why do you think that doing this one action will make a difference either way? Its just additional noise. Nothing more. And sometimes all this noise becomes deafening. Sometimes quietness is required. Give the gift of space. Give the gift of allowing someone to process their thoughts. Why add to their guilt, misplaced anger? Seriously Why?
I have yet to see anyone offer one valid reason.
Pursuing is pursuing no matter how it is masked.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
That's because the reasoning that most men used is my "How will she react? Will she be angry? How will her reaction make ME feel?" paradigm, rather than the "What is The Right Thing to Do?" one.
This isn't Mother's Day, where you can rightly offer recognition of her role as the mother of your children, or even your anniversary, where you can do the ol' "If nothing else, we've had some great shared memories and these three beautiful kids" or whatever. This is VALENTINE'S DAY -- a day for lovers and romance.
And that's all PURSUIN' at this stage, for most of these people.
Valentine's. If your wife is going to be getting it on with someother guy later that evening, then sending flowers and chocolates to her work is probably not a good idea.
now, if she is going to be sitting around the kitchen table stewing with her mamma all night long waiting for your phone call you better show up with something in hand.
this is where your mind reading capabilities come in...
I just realized that I will be home over Valentines day. Great, a no win situation. If I get something, then I will be pushing; if I don't, then I will be insensitive and pulling away.
Since your wife is uninterested in your R/M at this time, it makes more sense [to me] to get her nothing. Again, VD is a holiday one celebrates w/ their partner. Your W isn't your partner at this time. So, nothing to celebrate.
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Do they make an "I would love to love you if you were not being so STUPID" card?
If they did, I'm sure many folks on this board would snap them up!
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was thinking about not wearing my ring when I get off the plane. Overkill or not?
That is your call. Is your W wearing her ring? Not wearing it definitely sends the message to WAS that you aren't sitting around pining. Personally, I took mine off b/c a.) H stopped wearing his in August b.) if my M isn't going to survive, despite my best effort, then I best get used to not wearing it c.) I have no M right now
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
