WOW - You guys are so sweet - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful wishes, the songs, the prayers, the shoulders, the friendship, yes the 2x4's as well as the amazing love you have.
During the darkest hour of my life here you all sit/stand...Beacons of light showing me the way...
I told a friend in the alt...My Pastor said in his sermon yesterday, He would send angels down to surround us during trials and tribulations...
Through my pain, I now see you all are those angels...
I kneel at night praying for guidance, for wisdom, for peace of mind, for mental clarity...
Begging for a light in the darkness to guide me to the path He wants me to be on - Every single night, I ask for this and then realized last night (after mentally going over the sermon) I already had what I was seeking...In the form of you all...
Each of you is here for a different reason besides the obvious...
Whether it is to share your wisdom - Puppy, Coach, Greek, Robx, Gucci, City, VH, Tomato etc...
To bring a smile to someones' day - Rocked, Mind, Sad, MO3, Cutter, Gno, Spy, Pat, Awoken, Pearl etc...
To hold someone up when they just can't stand anymore - Gardener, Trent, Tristan, Kara, GIMA, Mac etc...
Aside from the names mentioned above, everyone is here for a purpose and I know there are many many others not mentioned...
My sitch will be a year old this month -
A year since my H opened a door that should have never been allowed to be cracked -
A year since the rug was pulled out from beneath my feet -
A year ago I was thrust into the blackest, emptiest, scariest time in my life - A time I will admit I didn't think I would survive however because of each and everyone of you, I am emerging...
Into what, I don't know - I am still being molded however I do know this - Whatever I emerge as will be a million times better then what I was and that right there makes this one of the best as well as one of the worst years of my life.
I am off to visit Goldy - I will be back with a mini update.
Love and Friendship to you all.
(((((Hugs)))))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I spoke to someone in the alt. about this however I also have to put it here to be picked apart.
Yesterday -
H picks up little one (remember the text fest a couple of days ago) around 11am...
I received a text from oldest S containing some foul words as well as a b-day wish...
I got to Church about 10:30am...After Sunday School & then service, I spoke to one of the ministers for a few before heading out...
I walk to the car and unlock it only to have a car honk at me...
A car parked directly behind the one I am driving...
It is my H and both boys just sitting there...
Now H has always picked up and dropped off little one at the house when I am gone - For whatever reason...
Here they sit...Behind me...At Church...
Anywho...
Little one gets out telling me to "hug Daddy" inside I am thinking "If I wasn't in a Church parking lot I may run him over as opposed to hugging him"...
H never got out of the car...
I walked over to the passengers side where older S was and he got out and gave me a big hug, told me Happy Bday etc...
I glanced over at H and he is sitting there watching me...
He sees me glance over and sucks his gut in and sits up a little straighter...
OMG he has gained some weight...
He is all scruffy looking...
Like he hasn't shaved in about 3 weeks...
Wearing some hideous clothing (ie: clothes for someone who isn't 41 friggen years old) with his gut just hanging there chillin...
I on the other hand look good of course because I just stepped out of Church...
He tries to look around to my hand (just like always)...
I made it easy on him...
Picked up little man and faced my H where he could see I no longer wear his ring...
Turned around with my back held high, put little guy in the car and drove away.
Not a single word came out of his mouth the whole time he was there.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
