Have you thought about getting some professional help? I think you need someone in front of you that you can unload on. Do you have any close guy friends?
Gucci's right about you sounding really needy. I understand the loneliness, pain of rejection and all that. We all do. The thing is that you need to pull it all together. Think of yourself like Rocky. You're down but not out. You've got to live for yourself. If you want a goal, then fight for your kids. They are YOUR kids too after all.
You listed all of her goals and what she wants to do. Well what do YOU want to do? Aside from saving your M, if you had not married, what did you always want to do?
You need to do something that will light the fire under your ass and get your mind off the R. Listen to a song that's inspiring or something that gets you off your feet and into action. Watch a guy flick or something. Anything to get your mind off the sitch.
It's hard to do but once you get started, it gets easier each day.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
