You are absolutely right - I think we are conditioned to give our kids the unconditional love. They are still learning, growing up, "allowed" to make mistakes, mistakes that are easier to forgive. With adults, it is harder because they should "know better." They should be able to stop themselves from making mistakes easier, so we put those expectations on them.
That is when we have to be able to detach and realize that they are NOT the mature adults we have known them to be or expect them to be right now. They are so caught up in their pain that they don't act rationally and act out of emotion and are selfish.
I definitely do love my H more like one of my kids right now. Iknow for me I finally am getting to that ILBINILWY point which kind of scares me. I guess the difference between me and my H saying it a few months back is that I am not acting on my emotions, I plan on sticking around (at least for now), and I do hope to work on it to get that back. I want it back. I believe it is possible. I have seen many posters on here who do have restored Ms say that it is even a better M than before. Hard work makes something that more valuable.
