One assignment we had after Session 1 was to each draw up a list of "We" statements describing the Ideal Relationship - i.e. what we want our R to look like going forward. Then take our individual lists and combine them into a master list, that we both agree on - i.e. a "Mission Statement" for the R. Well, I had 24 statements in my list, mostly things like "We laugh together" and "We go on a date at least once a month", but two of them were "We make love often and joyfully" and "We have make-up sex when we argue". Guess which ones didn't make the master list, lol...
Why would you agree to a list that didn't include them? (I couldn't choose which expletives to put between why and would so you get the safe for work version.)
Until you are willing to grab your brass ring and stake your claim to a fulfilled marriage, it won't happen. You *have* to be willing to throw it all away.
Wife, I have decided that the list is not satisfactory. I won't agree to it. When you are ready to renegotiate, let me know; otherwise, I will rip it up in front of the counselor.
