WAW Using God

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Hopefully, you're not answering the majority of these.

[pigskin]

Hopefully, you're not answering the majority of these.

I do, but mainly just an acknowledgement via a one word answer, like "hello." I don't engage in conversation and clip it off if she does.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

OK, but I'd actually recommend the OPPOSITE approach. Don't answer the majority of them at all (unless of course they're about kids, or necessary financial logistics, etc.), but then the ones you DO answer, be charming and engaging.

But that's just me.

Right now, if you answer everything, do so immediately, and do it with short, one-word answers, you just come across as a grouchy, yet completely available person. Is that what you're trying to accomplish?

Puppy

[Coach]

OK, but I'd actually recommend the OPPOSITE approach. Don't answer the majority of them at all (unless of course they're about kids, or necessary financial logistics, etc.), but then the ones you DO answer, be charming and engaging.

Yep, view these as opportunities to shine.

[pigskin]

OK, but I'd actually recommend the OPPOSITE approach. Don't answer the majority of them at all (unless of course they're about kids, or necessary financial logistics, etc.), but then the ones you DO answer, be charming and engaging.

But that's just me.

Right now, if you answer everything, do so immediately, and do it with short, one-word answers, you just come across as a grouchy, yet completely available person. Is that what you're trying to accomplish?

Puppy

Good point, I'll start doing that and see what happens. Thanks Pup.

[pigskin]

Just brief contact today, strictly business.

One thing I noticed is that she no longer calls to talk to the kids and say good night. She made a point of that early in our separation, but no more.

I find it strange that a mother could stand to be away from her children like this. She's a fabulous mom when not lost in the fog, don't get me wrong, but she seems totally content with letting me be a "single dad." It doubles my workload in managing the house, but I can handle it. It's my job in keeping what is left of the family functioning, and I chose it. But you think it would sink in that it is just plain wrong.

I just have to wonder when the fantasy will run its course.

[pigskin]

W was over today getting some things done like laundry. She's got a girls vacation this week with a couple of friends.

We had a pleasant conversation about just random stuff about our weekend. I asked her about a package that came as the name on the return address seemed familiar. It was a book she ordered that her IC recommended. She said "You won't like the title." The book was "The Good Divorce", and she said she really liked it and started to tell me a bit about it. I just listened and made no comments. Afterward I changed the subject.

I really don't care what books she reads, or how she assumes I could have any interest at all in something that tries to sugarcoat divorce. The thing that bugs me is that it shows I've got a looooong way to go with this, and there are no signs of progress whatsoever.

Talking with her can be awkward too, when I run out of light discussion topics. I guess I just have to pretend she is someone else in order to remain engaging and charming without pursuing. It's just hard to do when you see no headway in our situation.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Talking with her can be awkward too, when I run out of light discussion topics. I guess I just have to pretend she is someone else in order to remain engaging and charming without pursuing.

I'm guessing (knowing women), that quite a bit of your conversation centered around her asking you what you've been up to, what you've been doing with yourself, how you're getting on, etc.

How did you answer her?

Puppy

[jasper67]

I like that tactic and I will use it myself- I hate the lull- that's when I tend to say the wrong thing- so thanks for the diff motivation

[pigskin]

Talking with her can be awkward too, when I run out of light discussion topics. I guess I just have to pretend she is someone else in order to remain engaging and charming without pursuing.

I'm guessing (knowing women), that quite a bit of your conversation centered around her asking you what you've been up to, what you've been doing with yourself, how you're getting on, etc.

How did you answer her?

Puppy

Actually not at all. Most of it was about what the kids did over the weekend with her.

She never really asks about me at all. I am always easy going and content and she knows I can be happy in a cardboard box, so I guess she has no interest.