I know the wish I had feeling. If I knew what I know now a few years ago, I would be much more comforatable deciding to stay M
I know this is not the typical DB stuff, but have you tried talking about the books you've read, like little one-liners? If he is ready to bolt, then he can see you change. If he's bolted, as long as you aren't pursing, I can't help think that something needs to find its way in his lap. At the same time, I know that if you give it to him like "here, read this" he'll probably say that he is tired of R work. He just wants it to work, I think.
Something like what you said, "i just feel like i've been given the secrets to living happily ever after and i am able to see how so much of my behavior, no matter how benign i thought it was, felt to him like criticism, judgment and resentment" in might let him know that you're changing, even though he can't see it.
I wouldn't mind a peace prize...can you get my wife to work as hard as you are on my M and I'll nominate you back?
