WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Updating on the last week's drama and kicks to the head....

re: big blowout conversation with WAH I mentioned before... I'll just list some of the points...

Started out re: custody agreement wording - WAH is angry that I feel he is a bad father. He says I've shown that by stating I want "sole custody" of the children. Said that he sees that as my thinking he's going to run off or hurt the kids (referring to the clause about not taking them out of province without signed consent). Says that shows that I have no trust in him whatsoever when it comes to them.

I told him I was not going to give up my right to have a discussion about my children going out of province without me, regardless of who takes them.

He starts spewing... horrible R.. no sex (in more abusive wording of course).. don't understand him... controlling..

Said he filed for D that morning (this knocked me off my feet emotionally)(I now know that he can't file without the custody and separation issues resolved first as you have to attach copies of the agreements to the D app)

I called him insensitive and cruel as I have only known about everything for less than 5 months... (only I was more rude and said "known you fu**ed someone on my b-day" for less than 5 months)

He said there is a difference between fu**ing and making love... more of the same old spew...

Said he was planning on taking them to see her in the summer (she lives in attached country) and I was only being vindictive to prevent it. Said he planned on moving there, but wasn't sure when exactly, probably after summer. (another emotional blow but less because I suspected that's what he planned)

Then said in a calmer tone... "honey you know I'd never hurt the kids... I get that you don't trust me personally, but trust me with them"

When I refused to budge on the custody wording issues, he got angry again and said "by the way, I didn't F*ck her on your birthday.. it was the next morning" Nice huh?

I cried all the way to the lawyer's office..

Lawyer says that unfortunately all she can recommend is mediation to resolve wording issues and says I should get an actual separation agreement since he is so volitile (sp?) emotionally... Said she would not recommend removing the "consent" wording...she sent him an email to invite to mediation but as I knew he would, he refused... They charge a huge amount that is way out of my reach (retainer required) but WAH can qualify for legal assistance.. great...

Talked to SIL as D3 forgot her bedtime toy when visiting WAH and she was crying for it... SIL agreed to bring toy down next day after work (thurs).. vented as to comments WAH made re: b-day... She ripped him a new one that night regarding comments and rubbing my nose in OW... Rec'd an email 6:30am from WAH apologizing for comments that were "inappropriate and uncalled for"...

SIL brings toy to my place.. said that WAH said we were overreacting re: toy and refused to bring to house... Said she is at the end of her rope with him.. everyone in household was.. said she didn't know how much more she could take from him.. rude.. not contributing to household (money or chores)... angry then depressed then angry.. Told her to hang in there and to not enable him.. to let him see natural consequences for his actions etc. Said she suggested to him that he maybe live elsewhere and he looked like he was going to cry..

Went to IC that night.. she said OW motives probably trying to "rescue" H.. gave me more sugg re: handling kids reactions and said to be wary of H re: traveling with kids out of province (though passports are needed for them now and they don't have one). Said he needs to feel full consequences of choices (you guys are so knowledgeable about this it's awesome!) and to tell SIL same.

Talked to SIL re: consequences on Friday

She said he came to her in middle of night and said he was so confused. Wasn't sure moving out of province right idea. Wasn't sure he could be away from kids that far away. Wasn't sure OW relationship would work. Said he was going to ask her to move up here instead and if she wouldn't maybe their relationship was done.

Told SIL not to get her hopes up as I wasn't. Told her that he could just end up with another OW or this OW could convince him moving in with her was worth it.. She's hoping on him hitting bottom. Told her not to hold her breath!

I guess I was right as WAH emailed me this morning wanting to finalize wording on custody docs... told him I had no urgency any longer as I handle subsidy otherwise.. said he did and wanted things formal... told him I wouldn't sign his revisions... he said for me to send him how I wanted to see the wording..

*sigh*

On top of it all I'm sick as a dog (cold) and fighting with my mom (who lives in same house with me)