how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

OTM, i think that's exactly how that text made me feel. it wasn't like he was saying "i wish i could be there with you," but the fact that i know he's thinking about me gives me something to hold onto. it's a tiny sliver of hope, but it's still there.

if you haven't read mars and venus, i would really recommend it. if nothing else, the chapter about how women are like waves made so much sense to me and it made me think, hey! i'm NORMAL! other people feel the SAME WAY I DO! there's also a chapter about how men are like rubber bands, and knowing that when my H pulls away, it's not necessarily because he loves me any less would have been SO helpful to me 6 months ago. it just gives you so much perspective on how men and women function in relationships!

i think maybe that for someone with ADHD, it's hard to avoid the problems, or to avoid thinking that something else will come up later on. when you've dealt with being treated differently your whole life, it's not surprising that my H would feel the way he feels. not that i understand WHY he feels that way, but i can understand HOW he would feel that way, if that makes sense.

my mom tells me that even if we worked things out, i could expect him to want to leave off and on for the rest of our lives. i don't necessarily believe that, because i think that there are plenty of people out there with ADHD that function normally and happily with their non-ADHD spouses. i just feel like i've been given the secrets to living happily ever after and i am able to see how so much of my behavior, no matter how benign i thought it was, felt to him like criticism, judgment and resentment. i had so much to learn and i still do, and throwing in the towel now just seems crazy. now i understand how my actions and reactions affect him! now i understand how his actions and reactions aren't necessarily a reflection of how he feels about ME!

if you could convince him to read what you've read, i just might nominate you for a nobel peace prize! i can't get him to read anything but books related to his work field!