You are over thinking because this is how your mind operates. Concentrate on the small stuff instead of dealing with the larger issues at hand. It is a defence mechanism. And if you helped your boys get her a card every year tell your oldest that he needs to go spend some money on mom this year. If he is broke. Give him 5 dollars. Then thats that. 30 seconds and done.
Else you just using your boys to purchase your wife a gift.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
