I think it'll always hurt a little. For me, it comes from still believing so strongly in marriage and what it stands for. Even though I know it shouldn't hurt anymore, stuff like that still chips away at what I thought marriage was. For me, there's still a core part of me that wishes this were all a bad dream, that I could have my "for better and for worse" back.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I think if any "good" could come out of this mess is that I still believe in marriage. I enjoyed being married for the most part and I think, if the other person is on the same page how great that would be!!
I haven't seemed to have had as many bad things go wrong, or I suppose if I did, I just had a better grip on the situation and now my finances.
Since we posted at the same time, I do wonder just a bit, if it didn't hurt more because she was the one saying it, the one talking to "our" friend. The dark side of that...did she mean for me to see it??
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat - I agree about still believing in marriage. In face, despite being left and cheated on I think after all I have learned I believe in marriage now more than I ever did.
In a way maybe that is a gift for the LBS. I know the gift came our way due to terrific pain, many struggles, buckets of tears and lots of hard work but it is one I am grateful to have.
Me too, I totally believe in marriage. I think that is what makes it the hardest to let go. Even though I know so much has happened, at the end of it all I still think, "OK, but it was for better or WORSE, forever, right? Where is our chance to get back to the better if you just quit and walk away?"
That is what is frustrating, I think. And I doubt I will ever be "ok" with seeing my H with someone else, much less marrying them...
Sorry about the cold/thing you have going on. My doc recommended a neti bottle, it wasn't real pleasant but it helped!
I tried it a few times and felt as if I was drowning in the ocean! lol
Ex and I even had a pleasant e-mail exchange this morning. Maybe I am tired of it being tense. In no way am I making it right or excusing it but I was with him for 21 years and I know we still have some great kids to raise even if I am the one doing the majority of the raising.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thinking out loud here. I wonder if this "getting along" is part of my forgiving him so I can move on totally. I guess you can't attract more good things to your life if you are holding on to a grudge.
This does NOT negate what he did. I am NOT condoning it, but I can't be held a captive to it either. It can not define me, though it has set me on a new path.
Any thoughts?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
His actions did force you into a new direction but now you have complete automnity over that direction. The definition of the rest of your life can only be written by YOU!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Forgiving is for you, right? I think some of our X's are just weak and/or messed-up people. They are who they are, and best to just accept that, forgive them, and move on to our much more peaceful, healthy lives....Of course easier said than done, sometimes....
You will be happy to know that I have a big bag of clothes for him to take when he drops the kids off. I didn't put in any of the t-shirts I wore as nighties so I can't picture her in them.
His clothes are x-large so it would be forever before either one of my skinny boys could wear them!
He is taking the girls skating tomorrow so I will get more stuff ready for then!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
