Ring On or Ring Off????

[ddstartingover]

I was able to get my packet of information put together for the L. As I drop it in the mail today, I know my life will be forever changed. This is something I NEVER thought I would have to do. I know I don't have the choice anymore, but it doesn't help much---knowing that.

I've been reading more threads over the past few days. Although I have read a lot over the past two years, I've not focused in on how much pain the MLC'er is in. I've been too focused on my pain----and convinced myself that my once very loving H was so convinced that what he was doing was right that he had lost all emotion and feeling and thus just didn't care about my pain. Guess I should have stopped wallowing in self pity long ago.

I don't know what my future will be. Will I be able to stay in my home---a home I've lived in longer than any other, my children's home? How will I cope? How will I conduct myself through the D process? Only time will tell. I have accepted though that that's the road I am now on. It's not my choice, but out of my hands.