Running out of time.

[ClingingToHope]

I'm starting to realize since my W moved out 1/26 that any contact whether via phone, text or email ends up putting me in a funk. Today is no exception. I also need to stop looking at her FB it doesn't help. The stuff I read there just makes me think she is enjoying being away from me. I don't need that on my mind.

I've been out nine months now and I don't mind emails -- although she comes over as terse -- or texts, but I really don't like talking to her on the telephone or seeing her.

School weeks aren't so bad. If the kids are healthy there's no reason I should see her. She's in the habit now of calling me when she needs something during work. I hate that. It puts me in a funk.

Luckily I'm not FB friends with W. Before Christmas I was in full snoop mode and was checking her page every day. Now, I'm in full forget her as much as possible mode.

In my case, she hasn't filed anything and D10 tells me the money troubles are piling up. A D won't help her. She'll end up owing me money. She's been pushing me to get the taxes done. In the past, I would have filed them by now because we'd use the money to pay off debt.

Now? Well. I'd like to get the money as well, but I'm in no real hurry. I may do them next weekend. It's likely our last together so I'm not sure what I'll feel like.

[Cie la vie]

CTH,

Hope you had nice weekend.

I've been out nine months now and I don't mind emails -- although she comes over as terse -- or texts, but I really don't like talking to her on the telephone or seeing her.

Right now for me any contact is negative unless it is her calling to grovel and beg for forgiveness. That day is unlikely to ever arrive.

As far as NC is concerned it seems this is her MO as well. I guess this shouldn't be surprising after all the WAW is the one who pulled the pin, so one must assume that NC is what they want and it is an easier task for them to pull off. Although, I really don't find it all that difficult to maintain as of yet. I'm done with FB, besides I never really had page anyway.

In my case, she hasn't filed anything and D10 tells me the money troubles are piling up.

Sounds familiar. My W is out of work and has blew thru a $34K (401k)in less than 90 days and then moved out. Her monthly nut is in the neighborhood of 5k now. She plans on cashing out her other 401k with is half of the first one. Her safety net is her brother who is a multi millionaire and although she is prideful she will likely swallow it and ask for his assistance. Which he will most likely give, othewise she would be doomed.

Because of this she will be pushing hard to sell our home ASAP.

My weekend was uneventful as far as my sitch is concerned. I thought the SB was great until Peyton's pick six. Had a couple of buddies over for BBQ. Got some go exercise and slept well.

The kids will be back with me when I get home from work tonight, looking forward to it.

[MHL]

CLV,
Thanks for the post upstairs. Hope you have a great time with the kids tonight. If you are like me, all I have to do is look at them and I draw strength to soldier on each day.

For all of us with children in the terrible place we find ourselves in, I can't help but think that we all share the common desire for our children to grow up in a home with a Mother and Father that can get through the bad times and show them what true, unconditional love really is. I think that is one thought that keeps me in the fight one more day. And after that day is done, the next day I look at them or a picture of them and I stay in there one more day.....

[nikblondiew]

Missher...you couldn't have said it any better....that is EXACTLY how I feel. BIG reason I stuck around and fought so hard. I get angry when I have to answer tough questions from my 2.5 yr old son. He doesn't deserve this!

Just wanted to say you're right on!

[Cadet]

My kids are 22 and 23 but I totally agree with you. Even though they are adults I am still setting a moral outline for them. If that is what keeps you going, there is nothing wrong with that.

[Cie la vie]

MHL,

Thanks for the post upstairs. Hope you have a great time with the kids tonight. If you are like me, all I have to do is look at them and I draw strength to soldier on each day.

No problem. The return of the children is always a pick me up and the greeting I get from them is great, and yes they provide tremendous motivation to soldier on.

For all of us with children in the terrible place we find ourselves in, I can't help but think that we all share the common desire for our children to grow up in a home with a Mother and Father

I certainly share this desire and it is one of the reasons I find my W behavior so shocking and selfish. I'm sure you are in the same boat with me on this one. How they can justify and rationalize what they have done and continue to do is something I am unable to wrap my mind around.

It also seems to me that we attempt to rationalize away the behavior by labeling it this or that and in both of our case as well as many others the reason is MLC. Are we to excuse their behavior because they are in a MLC? Do they get a hall pass for this?

The reality is regardless of whether or not our W are in a MLC or not they know full well what they are doing and they have to know it is wrong. I'm not convinced otherwise. My W clearly stated to me that when she was out of work she had time to think and realized that D was the correct decision. Of course she was in a EA and possibly a PA during that time. Is the fog of the A and MLC so dense that it blots out reality in it's entirety?

My W is going to have to have one hell of an epiphany at this point to gain my forgiveness MLC or not.

What are your thoughts?

I've been pissed the last few days and it's coming out in my posts. Not feeling very forgiving of late.

[Cie la vie]

I'm off to round 3 of mediation. This one has the potential to get ugly for me. I'll post up upon my return. Wish me luck.

[dwinter82]

Do you have room for another pissed of fellow?

Let me know how everything went.

[Cie la vie]

I'm back. It proved uneventful except for my W continued financial nonsense. She disclosed the fact that she cashed out another IRA to support herself with. She netted 40K to play with on this one. Dumba**

One other thing that stood out to be is she comes across as perfectly lucid and competent, in addition she appears completely content with her decision.

Not that any conversation regarding the R was broached but she speaks in terms of years down the road with regard to parenting issues. No sign unhappiness or hurt. Almost like we together for a few months not 22 years with two young children. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised by this but it seems so casual to her.

Is this pretty standard fare from a WAW/MLCer? Let me know your thoughts folks.

DW82 plenty of room on the bitter bus come onboard.

[Cie la vie]

I have a guestion to ask.

The wedding ring I gave to my W was/is a family heirloom. My Grandfather gave it to my Grandmother for their 25 anniversary. It was handed down to my sister and she coughed it to me to offer to my STBX. Given the circumstances of our seperation and pending divorce I am strongly considering asking for it's return. The ring has tremendous sentimental value to me and I am sure to other's in my family. My wife violate the sanctity of our marriage with her infedility.

I do believe I would feel differently about this if the circumstances were different but they are not.

What do you feel about this?