it took all the strength i have not to text or email my H today.
Is it fair to say you're probably wondering how he manages to feel the pain of separating but not come running back?
It might be a gender thing, perhaps it is just a bit easier for men to get busy with work, friends and other things so moving on is easier. If he really does think his love for you is there, but the R is toxic to him, then maybe it is better for you to break it off now than to make it work, have kids, and then later in life MLC comes along and he'd be gone. Remember, so far, you are working on you, but he is not from what you've said changing himself much.
I'm not saying don't hope, I think you must. Personally, I would feel overjoyed to hear that he's come 'home' - it might even strengthen my own resolve.
But see the other side of the coin, too. When you begin feeling lost, remember to flip that coin to the side that acknowledges the long term repercussions if it broke off later in life.
