My Story

[Wired]

Posting one more time in hopes that someone can help me with a conflict. To do this I have to give you some insight with what I am faced with now.

-Wife says she wants out, gives me the "I love you and care for you but I cant take this anymore"
- Her "Plan" is to use the money she gets from my 401k and the house selling to hopefully get into a house.
-She also plans on trying to get a job at the university to help pay for at least one of this kids tuition.(You think she would call them to see if any openings)
-She wants Alimony so she can claim it as income
-Child Support (I have no problem)
-She wants all of our income tax return to hire a lawyer(one she picked out and talked to)
-She wants to put my son in a college that we couldnt even afford when together.

Here is my conflict.
I read some things on this board that says I need to be her friend and do everything she needs to get restarted(I could be emotionally seeing the message wrong)
I also see that I need to take care of my self but I feel like if I fight her every step of the way and force her out that what kind of a person does that make me?

I feel like she is using the "You are thinking of yourself and not the kids and I" against me. She thinks that I am just going to go along with everything and make things easy for her to walk out.

I know I have to take care of myself, but finding that line between taking care of myself and treating her with respect and dignity and doing what is right by the children is the grey line that I am having trouble seeing.

Please Help

P.S. I do apologize for all the questions and uncertainties, but I have no one else to turn to right now.