I SO know these feelings. I worried about H too early last yr when I hadn't heard from him in days..but it is still pursuit and shows him you are not moving on. My mom told me to call her whenever I felt a stronge urge to call him and she'd talk me out of it. I'd call a friend, or go for a run, do yoga, anything to distract...and yes it may seem like a distraction at first but I firmly believe that it changes your 'energy' (for lack of a better word). You force yourself out of necessity - will yourself, even if you don't feel like it - to do other things, get lost in other things ('the flow' of an activity you like) - and your mental patterns start to shift so you STOP obsessing about them so much. I do have moments where I still slip back, but now I know the tools and how to get myself out of these places. You start to view it as a fun challenge. It's a shift of your mental energy and then even your aura starts to follow (I know I'm sounding like a new age guru here!) Other people notice it and give back to you what you give off.
I'll get sad sometimes yes, but remind myself that I FEEL so much better when I focus on the above. It's almost a decision you make yourself make.
I think the growing fonder/forgetting wanes and wafts a bit over this process. Moments when I don't think about him at all, then when I feel like I miss him more... but over time the balance shifts so you start to feel better/more ok without them, you don't need them and you can be happy on your own. For any R to work, you have to be happy on your own anyway, so best to focus on that. Try to think of it as a fun challenge..and when you have your moments of sadness let yourself feel them. I get to those sorta-dark places sometimes, and then I get tired of feeling that way and it reminds me to get the hell outta that place... the too longer you linger there the more it sticks so you need to make conscious effort to help yourself as much as you can. Lean on your friends and family for support and we're here for you too!
You're a great person and he's a fool...his loss, for now at least! You're working on yourself and he's running away. You CAN do this. big hugs, hhh
