I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

I think the goal is to call his bluff. He's cake eating, I'm paying more than I should be cover all of our joint bills and he's off enjoying his affair (presumably) while I work two jobs and barely make ends meet.

Time for him to Sh!t or get off the pot. He keeps putting off filing for D trying to get me to file jointly. The fact that I don't want to means I'm stalling his happiness and his ability to move on with his life, according to him.

What I want is to let him know that, while its not what I want and I would consider counseling/reconciliation, I'm not living like this anymore. I don't deserve to struggle while he cake eats. I've never REALLY confronted him about OW - I've asked and he's denied. He's had no consequences so far - other than some fallout from friends. This is my way of standing up for myself I guess....

I'm not sure totally what my goals are yet... that's why I haven't sent it yet. I'm not sure entirely how I feel and this is the beginning of me forming that.

Here's what I know:
I don't want to meet with him.
I have nothing to say to him while he's in an affair.
I'm not holding him back, or ruining his happiness.
I'm sick of everyone in his life pretending OW doesn't exist and that he didn't really DO THAT.
He's letting everyone believe that the reason we are splitting is because I refused to have children - which is NOT the truth.
I still want (I think) to spend the effort to SEE IF we can put this marriage back together without the OW involved.
If we can't work to put this back together, than he can move forward with this D and stop with the limbo.
I don't want to file for D but I will if I have to.

Not sure that this helps, some of it is just me thinking things through. What I want is the letter to convey how I feel and new boundaries for dealing with me, than not talk to him again unless its on my terms....