Lost, Thus far he's had every opportunity to come over and visit. That is not denying him the right to see his children. The only difference that I can tell from your postings is that he is sleeping elsewhere. Other than that, where are you denying him the right to see the children? You are not. So, put that thought out of your mind. You've left the door open for him to come and go and he feels comfortable with that. Some day, you will need to set some boundaries so that you have the privacy you need, just as he does at night, away from you.
As for seeing the changes you've made....he is aware of them, but will not acknowledge them until further down the road. He is all into himself right now. Life is about him, not you. He needs to find himself and his focus as turned inward in order to do that. It's the "me, me, me" time for him. As for your changes, be sure that they are for you and not for him and they must be permanent changes, i.e., not doing them just to get him back.
He's still bouncing off the walls emotionally and w/a lot of confusion. He has to settle down in order to focus on himself and to heal, just as you do. Life isn't great for him either and we all know what we deal w/once they hit the ramp of the Mother Ship. When I say that they are not having a picnic out there, believe me, they aren't. They are far off worse than we are mentally and emotionally. That's why it is important not to focus on what they say or what they do. Why? Because they do not know which end is up one minute to the next.
His journey is his and you were not invited on it, therefore, his journey all about him. Do not expect anything from him for he cannot give you what you want right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
