thanks to all of you! i have heard he doesnt know when he will be back one min and 2 min later here i know where he stands and that since he has moved out, he wants a d...i (ME) will never change.
if he werent defensive, he could see all of the change. it has been a long 6 months. when family and friends see it i know he does, but cant admit it.
as far as h living here, i would feel secure as in not being alone with the girls at night...just safer in general i guess.
he is here so much that i must admit when he leaves to sleep elsewhere( M AND D) it ticks me off...no interruptions peace and quiet...i guess it is a bit of jealousy i just keep to myself.
i have held this fort up the whole time myself ...will continue to do so. its not the financial factor i worry about the way he does...for me it is keeping the family intact.
i have grown to understand and cope with this so much better with the help of all of you! i love you all for everything you keep repeating over again and again to me!
one thing i have always been told id that i am a quick learner! ha ha i need to learn about the emotional part of it all...
i have had panic disorder since the age of 17...with that in tow i am very proud of how far i have come in this journey!it is hard!
what has been on my mind this weekend while reading the archives...and cats most recent post to me...
he need to be in control, and that seems to be why or part of why he is around so much...i dont want to slow the process but i dont want to deny our girls their father...any insight?
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
