My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[Gardener]

nsw,
Think. Think! And don't answer me; answer yourself, with brutal honesty if you can muster it.

My ex was a mediocre mother to our daughter and mediocre partner to me...when she was loving times were good but when she was in full rage it was awful. She spent way too much time going out after work or even on her days off instead of taking care of the baby and our family/home.
I'm ashamed (Why?) to admit it...but I am now recalling times when I was so put off by her neglectful attitude toward me and spending time with our family...that I may have eventally became a WAS.You probably did, emotionally. And who could blame you?

What possible -past, present, or potential future are you clinging to, staying for? Co-dependency? Shame (=inappropriate guilt)? Or masochism?
Oh, and by the way,

I remeber thinking "If I can just hang on until D3 graduates high school...then I'll leave her." or "If I can just hang on til D3 graduates college...then I'll leave and D3 will still be ok.

I tried this "noble" approach for a few years in my first marriage to the shrew. It's not noble. Not even really well-intentioned, actually. It's martyrdom, pure and simple. And I hurt everyone - including myself - needlessly for a couple of extra years by doing it.
fwiw.

Go dark. Period. Don't answer any calls or texts. If she calls around D's bedtime, click the phone on, hand it to D and hang it up as soon as D says, "goodnight/goodbye, Mommy."

If you really want to keep torturing yourself, go stand in the kitchen and whack your head with a frying pan every night. That'll get you the same result: Self-inflicted pain that you can put an end to but won't.

Go Dark. Good Luck.