I can really only speak for my experience with MLC, but I know my H is in a great deal of pain and inner turmoil. He did go through a period around the time of the bomb when he did seem like he was having the time of his life, but now the depression is evident. He has shared enough with me for me to know that what is going on in his head and it is not pretty. Seeing that does make me be more sympathetic (definitely doesn't erase my pain, though!).
It makes no sense that he would be so willing to just throw away a good marriage and family life, but from what I understand about depression and MLC (for which the underlying force is the depression) they are making decisions and acting out on their pain and emotions, trying to do whatever they can to ease that pain. They think giving up their family responsibilities, a new R, a new job, whatever it is will make them feel better when what they really need to do is look inside.
MLC is caused by unresolved issues from childhood so it is pain they have been carrying around for a long time.
Hope that helps. Again, it is just what I have learned about MLC. I don't know much about just a WAS. I am sure others will chime in here tomorrow.
