I'm giving up, told W I'll sign at the end of FEB

[TooLateForMe]

Here's a draft for consideration. I tried to avoid blaming her, but I could use some opinions.

Hi,

I have some concerns that I would like to discuss with you before I come down. Over the last 6 mos I've lost a lot of my dignity and understand that respect has to be earned. I would like to let you know where I'm at and how I feel.

I feel like you don't respect me at all. You may, I don't know, but from conversations I don't get that at all. I'm not talking about control, just simple respect. I've spent the last few months doing whatever I could to understand your point of view. It just made me seem like a fool, weak and childish. I lost control of my emotions a lot and made things worse.

I asked you to keep me up to date on the girls and activities like school functions and general concerns, but failed to hold you to that for a variety of my own reasons (good and bad). I let you cut me off during conversations thinking that if I say anything you'll get mad.

And you don't want to be my friend. You weren't clear about that, but I've gotten enough signals at this point to get that through my head.

I still feel the need to help you out, but as my head clears and my self-respect returns, I don't feel that it is wise to do that if there's no consideration for my feelings. Maybe you do think about my feelings, maybe you want a friendship or at least a level of mutual respect. Maybe my feelings are clouding my perceptions. If that's true, let me know. The point is this is how I feel. I don't think it's your fault. We teach people how to treat us and this whole thing has changed me into an overly emotional, confused person. I'm not going to read your mind but your behavior has made me feel that you aren't interested in my emotions, my role as a father, or anything but trash that had to be thrown out.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is how I feel. Maybe your behavior is a response to my behavior. If so, let me know what I'm doing and how that makes you feel.

Let me know what you think.

Mark