*What I also realize is why it hurts so much. Not because she is with someone else, but because she is NOT with me. There is a difference. The pain is from realizing I was not able to give her what she needed from a physical or emotional standpoint.
That is why your self esteem takes a hit, and why it hurts. That is about me, not her.
Hey IWITW.
"The pain is from realizing I was not able to give her what she needed from a physical or emotional standpoint." Maybe you WERE able to IWITW, and you didn't...for whatever reasons! There is a difference between 'not being able' and 'not doing it'! Sometimes we don't do what we should do, plain and simple. We make mistakes. We have our own problems that don't have anything to do with our spouses, yet they are the ones who we take those problems out on...so to speak. But we can learn, and grow, and not make those same mistakes ever again! You're kicking your own butt, and I understand that. I really do.
The utter rejection also hits your self-esteem hard. And it hurts, along with the knowledge of our own mistakes. I really do understand the feelings you're having. All one can do at this point, other than feel what you are, is put forth a big effort to get better and stronger. Be the best dad you can be, and be the best IWITW you can be.
You are a good man.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
